The webserver approached me, it’s awkward body shifting side to side in a noisy shuffle. I could feel the heat from it’s multiple CPU fans filling the space around us and I wiped my moistening brow.

“So, you want to start a blog. Again.” it says.

I nod. I’m not about to play the webserver’s game. It can goad me all it wants about my past blogs and how quickly they came and went, about the low visitor counts, or how my ongoing other blog isn’t even really a blog at all.

I make a mistake though. I get too absorbed in my own thoughts trying not to let it psych me out that I don’t hear what it says next.

“What?” I say.

A pixelated grin spreads across the webserver’s terminal. It’s got me, my ruse has failed. The room grows warmer and I hear the webserver’s fans work harder. I wonder for a moment if this game of mental torture is some kind of foreplay for it, if a piece of sadistic hardware can actually be turned on.

“I said,” it began, “how do you want it?”

“What?” I repeat.

I realize my error. I’m no good at these mind games and the webserver is a pro. Its power light grows more intensely crimson and the room gets hotter still. There’s a faint whining sound now and I’m not sure what it is.

“The blog, how do you want me to set it up?” it asks.

“Just give me the basic install, I can take care of myself from there.” I reply.

The grin across its terminal again appears and parts slightly and the whining sound picks up.

“I know you can, but why do it all yourself when I’ve got all the time and experience in the world to share.” it said.

I whimpered and knew that was it. From the very beginning I would be doing this blog a broken man.